To me, 2023 has been a year of change.
I got married in May and we moved to a new apartment in June.
I also switched jobs in October and went from design into sales.
My wife and I bought our first car.
Curiously enough, all these changes came in halfway through the year.
The first six months were a mixture of anxiety, excitement, and fear.
It helped me learn something about myself: I’m not great with change.
Hence, why it is not surprising that I lived in the same house for seven years after I graduated.
I like my comfort, because it is in a constant environment, where my mind can wander the most, and my creativity explodes.
And yet, the last few months before my wedding I was full of fears.
We live in a society today that celebrates changes, and even encourages them constantly.
So on top of these fears, I also felt guilty.
You are “supposed” to feel excited about your wedding, right?
When your inner emotions don’t match with your exterior expectations, something breaks inside, and it gives birth to a lot of insecurities.
It wasn’t until I started working with a new therapist that I discovered this discrepancy.
Through a lot of sessions and inner work, I learned that it is okay to not be okay with change.
It is okay to be uncomfortable.
It is okay to be scared.
And it is okay for these emotions to live alongside my excitement and happiness to marry the love of my life.
Having mixed feelings about change is normal.
As we grow older, change becomes more and more constant.
So, learning to live with it, and all the positive and negative emotions are just part of life.
But there was one unexpected, yet extremely rewarding fact.
After everything was said and done, I can say with confidence that I’ve grown a lot.
I’ve not only learned new things about myself, but I’ve also learned things about my wife, and how we can co-exist.
I’ve grown more in the past six months of change, than I did in the past seven years.
And what is life if not a path for continuous learning and growth?
Sometimes, we just need to break out of our shell and accept the fact that change is not only healthy but inevitable.
As long as you are kind to yourself and the emotions you experience along the way, everything will be alright.
Wishing you all a Happy New Year, and nothing but success and growth in 2024.